Monday, October 15, 2007
I had another one of those nights again. I was in bed by 12 but somehow i couldnt get to sleep until 4.
Why.. It scares me
I guess it might have been the sugar acting up i dont know.
But i've had worse and somehow i couldnt sleep.
Kept thinking ..
It started off bad .
About that again.
But no wierd notions of any sort.
Just simple recollections of moments shared and passed.
Is it wrong ?
I dont know
I dont honestly care really
But is it disturbing yes
I cannot afford to get obsessed
It spoils whatever i. no. we have right now.
The carefree demeanour would just take a 180degree spin
It would end up in my face again.
Just like it did before
I just got that previous fiasco settled
By more effort on her part than mine i think
I just got too insecure.
But at least its a relief
To know its cool.
But is this so similar?
Or is it so different?
Even if it is a different person this time
I couldnt handle it before
You're more chatty, i dont know about how you feel
But i dont really mind just sitting down and listening
I'm not really one for small talk
But listening isnt so bad.
I try to tell myself all the negative things i can think of
All the reasons why i should be able to sleep sound
There are quite a few major ones i can fathom.
First of which is that you're not looking.
Neither am i at this point.
I'm still trying to stabilise myself.
But is it wrong that i felt good just to be out with you
Is it you or is it just something else.
I have no idea .
I think it might be a bit of both
It could not work
Would not work
I dont want it to work
I want to keep it as it is now
But why do i keep on replaying it
All events inclusive of yourself
Why does my head do this
Maybe i wasnt tired enough
Maybe i was just analysing
Maybe its just normal of me
Maybe it is
Maybe it isnt
But four hours is ridiculous and
As far as i'm concerned
Borders Obsession
Correction.
Is Obsession.
Infatuation perhaps
I dont want it
Leave me be
I just want things the way they are now
I dont want to have to agonise
Do i have to step away just to get some peace of mind?
I hope not.
You're awesome.
No doubt.
But for all your flaws
Somehow i dont see them.
Those flaws are serious issues
I couldnt deal with them
Another reason i shouldnt entertain thoughts
Expensive tastes aren't easily appeased.
I should know, i thought my lifestyle was extravagent
But you've been an eye opener
but then again considering the facts
Your Family background and all.
Yea it comes as no surprise and
still being the youngest.
Well, why does it seem that both of you
seem so different but have a few traits in similar
So strikingly similar
Yet so different.
The open demeanour.
Outspoken
Sporty and
a lack of that annoying trait
so common in others nowadays
Tougher than others
But still retaining enough
To care about image and
Not behave like a brute
But why do i know two people
So similar and
yet so different
In the same circumstances and
at the same time
and yet are pretty close to each other
what are the chances of that?
And both live near to me to boot
Wth is that?
I thought my criteria was already pretty screwed up
I ask for too much
I know i do
My preferences.
In a Valiant attempt to break free from pessimism
I shall consider it a blessing
To know you
both.
Really
Through all the agonising.
It's helped in a way?
I've learnt a lot
Please
I dont want to agonise
Lets leave it at this and hope
my penning this down will help
I need to stop
For my sanity's sake and
i need my sleep.
Treasure friendship for all it is. There are no demands and you just go out to have fun anyway. Whats so bad about just friendship? It's the best thing and in all honesty. I have to say i could want nothing more than genuine honest to goodness friendship.
Why.. It scares me
I guess it might have been the sugar acting up i dont know.
But i've had worse and somehow i couldnt sleep.
Kept thinking ..
It started off bad .
About that again.
But no wierd notions of any sort.
Just simple recollections of moments shared and passed.
Is it wrong ?
I dont know
I dont honestly care really
But is it disturbing yes
I cannot afford to get obsessed
It spoils whatever i. no. we have right now.
The carefree demeanour would just take a 180degree spin
It would end up in my face again.
Just like it did before
I just got that previous fiasco settled
By more effort on her part than mine i think
I just got too insecure.
But at least its a relief
To know its cool.
But is this so similar?
Or is it so different?
Even if it is a different person this time
I couldnt handle it before
You're more chatty, i dont know about how you feel
But i dont really mind just sitting down and listening
I'm not really one for small talk
But listening isnt so bad.
I try to tell myself all the negative things i can think of
All the reasons why i should be able to sleep sound
There are quite a few major ones i can fathom.
First of which is that you're not looking.
Neither am i at this point.
I'm still trying to stabilise myself.
But is it wrong that i felt good just to be out with you
Is it you or is it just something else.
I have no idea .
I think it might be a bit of both
It could not work
Would not work
I dont want it to work
I want to keep it as it is now
But why do i keep on replaying it
All events inclusive of yourself
Why does my head do this
Maybe i wasnt tired enough
Maybe i was just analysing
Maybe its just normal of me
Maybe it is
Maybe it isnt
But four hours is ridiculous and
As far as i'm concerned
Borders Obsession
Correction.
Is Obsession.
Infatuation perhaps
I dont want it
Leave me be
I just want things the way they are now
I dont want to have to agonise
Do i have to step away just to get some peace of mind?
I hope not.
You're awesome.
No doubt.
But for all your flaws
Somehow i dont see them.
Those flaws are serious issues
I couldnt deal with them
Another reason i shouldnt entertain thoughts
Expensive tastes aren't easily appeased.
I should know, i thought my lifestyle was extravagent
But you've been an eye opener
but then again considering the facts
Your Family background and all.
Yea it comes as no surprise and
still being the youngest.
Well, why does it seem that both of you
seem so different but have a few traits in similar
So strikingly similar
Yet so different.
The open demeanour.
Outspoken
Sporty and
a lack of that annoying trait
so common in others nowadays
Tougher than others
But still retaining enough
To care about image and
Not behave like a brute
But why do i know two people
So similar and
yet so different
In the same circumstances and
at the same time
and yet are pretty close to each other
what are the chances of that?
And both live near to me to boot
Wth is that?
I thought my criteria was already pretty screwed up
I ask for too much
I know i do
My preferences.
In a Valiant attempt to break free from pessimism
I shall consider it a blessing
To know you
both.
Really
Through all the agonising.
It's helped in a way?
I've learnt a lot
Please
I dont want to agonise
Lets leave it at this and hope
my penning this down will help
I need to stop
For my sanity's sake and
i need my sleep.
Treasure friendship for all it is. There are no demands and you just go out to have fun anyway. Whats so bad about just friendship? It's the best thing and in all honesty. I have to say i could want nothing more than genuine honest to goodness friendship.
