Friday, August 24, 2007
So here I am, out of the kitchen like i wanted.
Finding that i miss the kitchen,
Finding that i miss the Chefs
Finding that i miss the humdrum,
Finding that i miss ... something else.
Seeing you every morning
Did i take that for granted..
Or am i just being an infatuated piece of shit again.
I dont know but i just have to lay it down as i see it
17 weeks ago, zilch
10 weeks ago, something
1 week back, i'm still fighting it.
Right now, i cant fight this feeling anymore
2 days in depression
2 different viewpoints
To chase what i want
To forget you and wait
I dont know , but it cant be can it?
There are so many factors
Group Dynamics
I'm not scared of asking you
Its the repercussions i'm afraid of.
But can i still ask you if your friend has already said no?
No , i cant, i just cant.
I cant deal with it if it spirals out of control,
I wish was cool enough to deal with it
I wish I could say i dont need anyone else
Just your approval
But the worrisome fact is
What if you repeat what's haunted me for years?
She said no, i thought i'd moved on
It was put nicely,
I was dumb, i still am.
But you probably arent going to say yes anyway so
I'm not going to risk being the fool again.
But still talking to Alex has helped i guess.
Oon just made me depressed and given me false hope ha
Best of luck with your girl anyway you bloody consultant.
Thanks for listening and thanks for honing your skills on me -.-
Thanks Alex for going out and spilling the beans
It really helped me so much more than you can possibly imagine
It dashed those false hopes
It made me realise how impossible it was.
I think its time to move on
I cant believe you're going into the army
I cant believe CY's leaving already
Its almost unfair that i get to know you guys
Only to see you all leave so soon
But that's life i guess.
It just sucks doesnt it.
Life's been a bitch
I've learnt so much about Cheff-ing
I've learnt so much about you
I've learnt so much about myself
I've learnt not to be so nice
I've learnt to be an asshole and grab what i want
No one's gonna give it if you never take
I wish i was as coolheaded as some people
I wish i was as self confident
I wish i could realise that despite the cool outer demeanor
people display, they're all weak underneath.
I shant depress myself and worry anymore
Maybe i still stand a chance if i'm just myself?
I think maybe i should stop obsessing
I think maybe i should just be normal
I think maybe i should wait for you to come back
I think maybe i shouldnt care so much
I think maybe i should just be your friend...
Well, i dont know what that was and i never will, this has just been a log, Remember her, a lesson learnt. Nothing more. Nothing less either. Won't fully get over it, but at least i wont see you everyday anymore. I still like you i guess. But like Alex said, stop being a whiny piece of bullshit and grow some balls and either do something about it and deal with the repercussions or suck it up and wait for the storm to blow over. Since i lack the fortitude to do the former, i'll just wait out the storm, till ..................
I wont forget your morning chatter
I wont forget you were my partner
I wont forget the look on your face when it was chaos
I wont forget the cute way you do things
I wont forget your sense of humour
I wont forget when we said Nice one at the same time when Vx dropped his phone
I wont forget that seat where we were
I wont forget that bus ride where i went all the way back to school with you just to be next to you
I wont forget that other ride where i got to chat with you all the way back with JL and WH
I wont forget teaching you that song to annoy macc
I wont forget how cute it was when you sang it just to annoy him too ha..
I wont forget your Chirpy Good mornings ! everyday
I wont forget when you made fun of me and i had no retort
I wont forget when we had so much fun in the Cold Kitchen together
I wont forget when we had that Lefthander Righthander Blamefest-war. Ah you still lost you stupid right hander =P
and the dessert screwed up cos you're a right hander hahaha
I wont forget what i thought when i saw you outside recently when we went to that place to watch soccer.
I wont forget how you looked
I wont forget the cute fluster in your face when it got messy
I wont forget the cute little smily faces you'd always put in your messages
I wont forget the joke you made when i tried to poke fun at you and those people sleeping behind the station
I wont forget how alarmed i got when i realised he was hitting on you
I wont forget how relieved i was when i heard you rejected him
I wont forget how we laughed at the service staff in the kitchen
I wont forget the jokes about how we'd still be telling them what to do next sem
I wont forget how happy i was when it was just us doing a specific task together with no one else
I wont forget the way you tapped me
I wont forget the way you pulled me aside when we were playing
I wont forget .. every little thing.
I wont forget that i sound like a fucking class A stalker now
I wont forget what Alex said but
I also wont forget that i'm still me and i need to write this down.
I wont ever forget you i swear.
But
i also wont forget i need to get over you
but that's going to be hard because i just like you so damn much.
I want to shoot myself now.....
Someone kill me, i'm so obsessed
or maybe its just the boredom.
I wanted to call you before your flight went off
But there were others around
I ... couldnt bring myself to ...
So i'll wait till you'reback but .. i'm leaving the same day for msia
So wait till i get back then. Cruel coincidence ? i think so.
Sigh
Wish i'd hurry up and forget.
Someone shoot me.
Finding that i miss the kitchen,
Finding that i miss the Chefs
Finding that i miss the humdrum,
Finding that i miss ... something else.
Seeing you every morning
Did i take that for granted..
Or am i just being an infatuated piece of shit again.
I dont know but i just have to lay it down as i see it
17 weeks ago, zilch
10 weeks ago, something
1 week back, i'm still fighting it.
Right now, i cant fight this feeling anymore
2 days in depression
2 different viewpoints
To chase what i want
To forget you and wait
I dont know , but it cant be can it?
There are so many factors
Group Dynamics
I'm not scared of asking you
Its the repercussions i'm afraid of.
But can i still ask you if your friend has already said no?
No , i cant, i just cant.
I cant deal with it if it spirals out of control,
I wish was cool enough to deal with it
I wish I could say i dont need anyone else
Just your approval
But the worrisome fact is
What if you repeat what's haunted me for years?
She said no, i thought i'd moved on
It was put nicely,
I was dumb, i still am.
But you probably arent going to say yes anyway so
I'm not going to risk being the fool again.
But still talking to Alex has helped i guess.
Oon just made me depressed and given me false hope ha
Best of luck with your girl anyway you bloody consultant.
Thanks for listening and thanks for honing your skills on me -.-
Thanks Alex for going out and spilling the beans
It really helped me so much more than you can possibly imagine
It dashed those false hopes
It made me realise how impossible it was.
I think its time to move on
I cant believe you're going into the army
I cant believe CY's leaving already
Its almost unfair that i get to know you guys
Only to see you all leave so soon
But that's life i guess.
It just sucks doesnt it.
Life's been a bitch
I've learnt so much about Cheff-ing
I've learnt so much about you
I've learnt so much about myself
I've learnt not to be so nice
I've learnt to be an asshole and grab what i want
No one's gonna give it if you never take
I wish i was as coolheaded as some people
I wish i was as self confident
I wish i could realise that despite the cool outer demeanor
people display, they're all weak underneath.
I shant depress myself and worry anymore
Maybe i still stand a chance if i'm just myself?
I think maybe i should stop obsessing
I think maybe i should just be normal
I think maybe i should wait for you to come back
I think maybe i shouldnt care so much
I think maybe i should just be your friend...
Well, i dont know what that was and i never will, this has just been a log, Remember her, a lesson learnt. Nothing more. Nothing less either. Won't fully get over it, but at least i wont see you everyday anymore. I still like you i guess. But like Alex said, stop being a whiny piece of bullshit and grow some balls and either do something about it and deal with the repercussions or suck it up and wait for the storm to blow over. Since i lack the fortitude to do the former, i'll just wait out the storm, till ..................
I wont forget your morning chatter
I wont forget you were my partner
I wont forget the look on your face when it was chaos
I wont forget the cute way you do things
I wont forget your sense of humour
I wont forget when we said Nice one at the same time when Vx dropped his phone
I wont forget that seat where we were
I wont forget that bus ride where i went all the way back to school with you just to be next to you
I wont forget that other ride where i got to chat with you all the way back with JL and WH
I wont forget teaching you that song to annoy macc
I wont forget how cute it was when you sang it just to annoy him too ha..
I wont forget your Chirpy Good mornings ! everyday
I wont forget when you made fun of me and i had no retort
I wont forget when we had so much fun in the Cold Kitchen together
I wont forget when we had that Lefthander Righthander Blamefest-war. Ah you still lost you stupid right hander =P
and the dessert screwed up cos you're a right hander hahaha
I wont forget what i thought when i saw you outside recently when we went to that place to watch soccer.
I wont forget how you looked
I wont forget the cute fluster in your face when it got messy
I wont forget the cute little smily faces you'd always put in your messages
I wont forget the joke you made when i tried to poke fun at you and those people sleeping behind the station
I wont forget how alarmed i got when i realised he was hitting on you
I wont forget how relieved i was when i heard you rejected him
I wont forget how we laughed at the service staff in the kitchen
I wont forget the jokes about how we'd still be telling them what to do next sem
I wont forget how happy i was when it was just us doing a specific task together with no one else
I wont forget the way you tapped me
I wont forget the way you pulled me aside when we were playing
I wont forget .. every little thing.
I wont forget that i sound like a fucking class A stalker now
I wont forget what Alex said but
I also wont forget that i'm still me and i need to write this down.
I wont ever forget you i swear.
But
i also wont forget i need to get over you
but that's going to be hard because i just like you so damn much.
I want to shoot myself now.....
Someone kill me, i'm so obsessed
or maybe its just the boredom.
I wanted to call you before your flight went off
But there were others around
I ... couldnt bring myself to ...
So i'll wait till you'reback but .. i'm leaving the same day for msia
So wait till i get back then. Cruel coincidence ? i think so.
Sigh
Wish i'd hurry up and forget.
Someone shoot me.
